USA...

I have officially been home a week. And what a week it has been. I got into Philly at 6:30pm on July 19th. From there we went through customs and got our bags and my mom was waiting outside the doors with a bunch of balloons. I said my last goodbye to Julianna and off my family went to get cheesesteaks. From the time I stepped off that plane I was in a bad mood, I was tired and not hungry and I just didn't want to be home. We get to Pat's and I think I was having a bit of culture shock and also I dealt with the situation I had been dreading so I was upset with that too. Let's just say I wasn't the easiest person to get along with. I got home and went straight to bed, and I woke up at 4am and ate my cheesesteak. This week I would go to bed at 5-530pm and wake up at 4am. Luckily I am finally back on American time, I'm glad it only took a week. 

I'm already missing Spain a great deal and I'm trying to not hate Fleetwood, but its hard because I just feel like I don't belong here. I'm not really sure why, I just don't. Plus I'm still hurt over the situation but I know God knows what He's doing. I haven't read my Bible all week, and I hate that but it's like now that I'm home I'm so busy when in reality I'm not. So why is it that I can't read it? Why am I not praying as much? What is it about Fleetwood that makes me not do that? Everytime I go somewhere and I get closer to God I come home and it goes away. I know I only have myself to blame and I know I just need to work harder but I just don't know why. I wish I could figure it out. 

But I guess this blog is done for now, until I go back to Spain next summer. 

Not goodbye, see you later

What a week it has been! VBS went great, except at times it was boring since I had no idea what they were saying. I saw some things I really liked with how they did it, and things I didn't. But hey you can't please everyone, all in all it was great though. I believe I mentioned I had the same age group as English Camp and that I had most of the same kids except a much smaller group. I honestly have never seen a VBS that small before. I hope the kids took a lot away from this week and will continue to grow in their walks with the Lord, or even accept Him as their Lord and Savior. Saying goodbye to them wasn't easy at all, and I had some parents come up and thank me and I thanked them for sharing their children with me. I will miss their smiles, laughs, and personalities. Each one of them has a special place in my heart. And I hope to be back next summer. I wish I would have taken more pictures but it is what it is. 

Conversation ended Wednesday night, and on Thursday night we had a party for them and they got certificates stating they completed four weeks of classes. What amazing progress they all made, I am so proud of each and every one. They are the sweetest people and last night to have people ask if I had face ook or want a picture with me, and tell me they wanted me to come back just made me feel so loved. I am glad that they liked me as much as I liked them. 

 

Today after VBS I said goodbye to all of the Spanish and the Americans, except Julianna, since we'll be flying to Philly together. The rest of the Americans are leaving early in the morning and my flight doesn't leave until 1pm so we get to go later. It was hard saying goodbye to them because I have formed bonds with lots of them, some I really only really connected with this week, and I regret not trying harder to get to know them, but hey you live and you learn. It was hard saying goodbye to some of the Spanish too. But alas its not goodbye, its just see you later. I hope to see yall next summer! And  I'll work on opening up more. :) 

Tomorrow I will be saying goodbye to my host family, which might be the hardest of  all. They have been so kind to me, and I wish I could repay them for all they have done. I pray they go to church and I pray they accept the Lord as their Savior. 

Where oh where do i belong?

Ever since last night when I couldn't sleep, I have had a lot on my mind, on my heart. I have basically 3 days left here in Spain, not counting saturday because that's when i begin my journey home. I am going home to certain situations I'd rather not face, I don't know the outcome of them and it terrifies me. The certain situation is hard because i care so deeply and I don't want to face tears and a broken heart. I do know God has a plan and I know His plan is better than my own but I don't do well with heartbreak. 

I also don't do well with opening up to people, why? Because I don't want to deal with the hurt it brings me, so instead I push people away. My time in Spain has been bittersweet, why? Because at first I couldn't let people in, I felt like I didn't fit and that made me push people away. I also had a lot I was dealing with from home and I didn't know how to manage that and being in a new country. Plus I don't sleep well, even at home, I never have, so I was exhausted. But as time went on I got to know a beautiful person, and that person helped me a lot. That same person has said they have seen a change in me, and I think that is somewhat true, I have talked to more people but I'm still very reserved. But I still don't know where I belong. 

I don't know where my heart is. Technically not true, a piece of my heart is in Mexico, another piece is in New York, another in Atlanta, yet another piece is in Jasper, Ga, some is in Indiana, and now I will be leaving another piece here in Spain. And a huge part of my heart is in Pennsylvania, with the people I love so dearly. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, I have a degree in missions but I have no idea what I want to do with my life, where I want to go. I used to think I had it all figured out but all my plans have failed. I'm scared to see what the future brings. I'm scared of being hurt. If I could stay here in Spain and not go home and face things, I would. 

But a las every good thing comes to an end even if you aren't quite ready to say goodbye. I have learned so much about myself on this trip and I have started a relationship with the Lord again and I truly hope it continues when I'm home. For the next few days I'm going to live it up and do my best to show God's love. 

Third week complete, and beach weekend!

Seriously time is going way to fast, i'd love it if it felt like slowing down some. Last week was our final week of English camp for the kids and today we started VBS. Agency D3, which is funny because my home church is doing the same this week as well.

Last week one of the girls told me she loved me, and most of the girls on my team were hanging all over me. It's part of the reason why i love working with little kids. Plus having them come up to you and grab your hand melts my heart. It makes missing camp a little less. I have fallen in love with these kids and they are just so absolutely precious to me. We have some of them in VBS this week however most of the kids from English camp i won't see again unless I come back next summer. :) I feel that English camp went very well, and they all enjoyed themselves, well hopefully. They put on a show with each group singing and it was absolutely beautiful. I just love hearing there accents and how cute theu sound. Seriously i could listen to them talk forever. 

 

There were defintely some ups and downs this week but God is my strength and He got me through every trial that was thrown my way. The last day someone yelled at me, and while i did make a mistake that person shouldnt have been the one to yell at me. I had to forgive this person, and while it took awhile I finally did. After all God forgives us so we should forgive others. 

This past saturday was my 25th birthday! Now i'm not normally home for it but it was strange being older than my twin for a couple hours. My host family took me to the beach and when we went out to eat the whole resturant sang to me in spanish of course. It was beautiful though. The mediterranean sea is absolutely goregous. I have never seen such beautiful blue water. I was standing the the sea just being in awe of the beauty around me. God created that, He created everything. What an amazing God i serve. 

Adios for now! And remember the Lord loves you! :) 

God is my strength

Hola! We are in our third week of the trip and second week of English camp for the children. What an expierence it has been so far! 

This week I was feeling discouraged and satan had been attacking. See the thing is before this trip my life was not really where it needed to be, I wouldnt do my devotions or anything. After hanging out with a member of the team last week I promised I would have my quiet time with God. And I have been everyday! I have learned so much about myself on this trip. 

My laptop broke this week, and I was upset and then I realized I dont even use it that much, so its okay. It will be fixed eventually and for now i have my phone. And since i have a sim card again its good because I can talk with my family. 

I refuse to let satan get me down the rest of the time I´m here. I will keep clinging to God and His Word. He is my strength. 

second week!

I can not believe two weeks have gone by and yesterday we started week three. It is going by too fast, before I know it I'll be boarding a plane to come back to the states.
I don't get to write as often as I would like too, but I'm going to try, maybe during siesta time. :)
Last week was the first week with the kids English camp! Saul, Madison, and I have 16 beautiful 7 and 8 year olds. We have a schedule that we follow each day, it goes opening program, sports, snack, English class, music, art, and closing program. Our kids really love art, they have made some really fun projects, I'm excited to see what Sandi has in store for them this week. One of our girls is in a wheelchair and honestly she is the cutest thing, especially when she laughs while doing sports. I have a group of girls that love to sit by me or hold my hand, and they hug me and its just precious. It makes me miss Camp Grandview a little less, although that place will always hold a spot in my heart like none other. One of the teachers told me that she was impressed with how well I worked with the children, and how I could have fun with them, or something like that, and this was after the second day. It is most definitely encouraging to have people come and say that to me. My job is to love on the kids, and if I succeed than I have a happy heart. :)

I only got to do adult conversation once this week, because my other scheduled day I had gotten sick. Last week I hadn't been feeling the best but I think it might be because I'm dehydrated. I have a tendency to not drink enough, so I need to work on that. We had a fourth of July party for the adult classes. Complete with hamburgers, hotdogs, and baseball. It was a lot of fun to watch the Spanish play a sport I love so very much.

We also had a Spanish party and it was fun for the most part. I'm not really the type of person who enjoys dancing in front of people, but it was nice to watch others dance. And the food was absolutely delish. I'm really going to miss eating paella when I go home.

Last night I sang in the choir at church and I also did a mime with some of the other Americans. Mari Carmen my host mom was crying throughout the whole service and she was really touched by it all. After dinner last night we got to talk a little bit about God and it was just a God moment and it was amazing. If that is the only thing that happens while I'm in Spain, I'd be okay with that. Maybe I'm doing something right.

 

Please continue to pray for me and the team(American and Spanish) and please pray for all 16 of my kids, I would write their names but I don't know how to spell them all.

 

Until next time, adios!